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Most of the dating wisdom I have absorbed over the years has been from observing other people’s relationships—learning what works and what doesn’t—and internalizing the lessons learned.I watched my sisters’ and friends’ boyfriends come and go, I saw the dynamics of my parents’ marriage, and yes, I dated a boy or two here and there.Like many of my fellow music lemmings out there, I have been rocking out to Taylor Swift’s new album (or at least the only two songs they will play on the radio) over and over and over again.So far the common theme in both songs—"Shake It Off” and “Blank Space”—is Tay poking fun at her “serial dater” reputation created by a long string of exes.There are many women who—whether by choice, distraction, or late blooming—do not fall into this serial-dating norm and worry that their lack of experience might prove detrimental to finding lasting love in the future. Women in their mid-20s who don’t have a laundry list of ex-loves, or the nasty scars that come with it, are not behind the curve. Contrary to the assumptions of my nervous dates, I didn’t start writing about relationships because I had a little black book with a “blank space” that still needed to be filled.

By the time we reach our mid-20s we have learned that fire is hot, but we still haven’t figured out how to avoid getting burned.

People say it’s easier for women, and at least in my own experience, that’s true.

I’ve known guys just as attractive as me who remained virgins into their 20S.

But taking time to study relationships, observing and empathizing with the people and relationships around you, is crucial to internalizing good dating practice and attitudes.

When you take this approach you can learn from your own relationships, but you can also learn from others’ relationships as well.

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